insights of a worrier

10 items or less

2008-06-28T04:38:00.006+08:00

was inspired by the movie i recently watched, "10 items or less" ("10 articulos or menos") starring Morgan Freeman and Paz Vega. a come and go actor, researching for a small movie role in an out-of-nowhere market, became fascinated with a cashier having a "preternatural ability to ring up items at the cash register". befriends her and ended up encouraging each other to find their inner selves

10 items or less - a keeper

family

close friends

small talks / conversations

smell of fresh flowers

cold air

a time to myself from time to time

memories

a (smell of) good coffee

peaceful sleep

10 items or less - i loathe

constant solitude

working for nothing

inconsiderate people

smoking

waitng

closeminded

worrying

give it a thought =)

pang-unawa

2006-07-19T18:30:00.000+08:00

binigyan tayo ni Lord ng wisdom para malaman ang tama at mali di ba, para alam kung ano ang dapat gawin at sabihin. bakit minsan ang hirap para sa atin ang mag-isip? bakit kailangan mag-away muna para lang mapaintindi ang isang bagay. na may kailangang masaktan, magtampo, mapagalitan para ma-realize na "teka di dapat yun ang nangyari ah". madalas kasi sa reason ay natatamaan ang ego, di nasusunod ang kagustuhan, ayaw patalo, ayaw masapawan, ayaw magbigay, di inaalam ang root ng problema, ayaw makinig, inuuna yung dapat makabenefit sa sarili. wag naman ganyan. matatanda na tayo. marunong na din dapat gumamit ng isip. di naman kasi sa lahat ng oras everything will go our way eh. marunong din dapat makinig (be a listener and not a talker, minsan may matututunan ka pa kapag ganun at minsan din mas nakakatulong), tumanggap (virtue of acceptance) at umintindi (learn to be understanding, wag magagalit kaagad or bago magsalita i-assess muna ang sasabihin kung tama ba o hindi, kung may sense o wala. tama, mahirap i-practice, pero kapag nagawa mo ay ok na ugali).

everything

2006-07-06T16:37:00.000+08:00

its so great if you have someone in your life that will love you for everything ...

Everything
(by Alanis Morissette)

I can be an asshole of the grandest kind
I can withhold like it’s going out of style
I can be the moodiest baby and you’ve never met anyone
who is as negative as I am sometimes

I am the wisest woman you've ever met.
I am the kindest soul with whom you've connected.
I have the bravest heart that you've ever seen
And you've never met anyone
Who's as positive as I am sometimes.

You see everything, you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can’t relate
And you’re still here

I blame everyone else, not my own partaking
My passive-aggressiveness can be devastating
I'm terrified and mistrusting
And you’ve never met anyone as,
As closed down as I am sometimes.

You see everything, you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can’t relate
And you’re still here

What I resist, persists, and speaks louder than I know
What I resist, you love, no matter how low or high I go

I'm the funniest woman you've ever known.
I am the dullest woman you've ever known.
I'm the most gorgeous woman you've ever known
And you've never met anyone as, as everything as I am sometimes.

You see everything, you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can’t relate
And you’re still here

And you’re still here
And you're still here...

simple joys

2006-02-10T19:44:00.000+08:00

1. being given genuine smiles & sincere thanks
2. kisses and hugs
3. catching a glimpse of sunset
4. star gazing
5. receiving nice unexpected things
6. phone call from a friend knowing they just wanted to say hi and know how you were
7. considered as a close friend
8. being missed
9. being remembered even without an ocassion
10. opportunity to travel
11. talks with my sisters
12. cuddling with mom
13. being treated like a daddy's girl from time to time
14. hearing favorites songs on the radio
15. good surprises
16. knowing you are needed
17. you've made someone's day
18. helped someone
19. hanging out with friends
20. receiving invites
21. bars & bars of dark chocolate ü
22. having a friend whom you could talk to about anything and everything
23. there is someone who cares for you unconditionally
24. day will pass with no worries
25. meeting new friends and being able to keep in touch with them
26. getting that one thing you've always wanted
27. food trip
28. able to to do something you think is impossible to do
29. finish a good book
30. a garden or bouquet of fresh tulips

** no specific order **

weekend kulitan

2006-01-30T20:43:00.000+08:00

sa takbo ng mundo ngayon bihira ng magkakitaan ang mga magkakasambahay. tulog na ang isa kapag dumating ka o kaya naman eh tulog ka ng aalis na sya. di kasi nagtutugma ang mga schedule sa work school and play. buti na lang may weekend pang natatawag at kahit paano eh may natitira pang araw para sa family bonding, itong family bonding na ito eh binansagan ng mama ko na weekend kulitan. weekend kulitan dahil tuwing weekend na lang naglalambingan, nag-aasaran, nagkakausap ang parents ko at ang kapatid ko at minsan ako na rin. isa sa mga memorable na weekend kulitan ay ang kakalipas lang, my mom & my sister, ako at ang dadi. huli't lumaon, dahil sa usapang ligaw-ligaw at ang unexpected na pagbibiro ko na magpapakasal na ako eh (kagaguhan ko lang .. hehehe .. very silly banter for my dad) di maiwasan na ma-feel nila na di na babies ang babies nila. di maiwasang humiling ang parents. hiling ng dad. hiling ng mom. never makalimot. never mawala ang weekend kulitan (kasama na dun ang weekend treat daw .. hahahaha)

some people

2005-12-13T22:06:00.000+08:00

how come there are people that easily brings out the worst in you. it sucks! when you try as much as you could to get along with everybody, they will badmouth and make you feel bad about yourself. you try to do a right thing, they will find something unfavorable about it. show them you have good intentions at heart, they would suspect you want something from them. try to stay away from trouble, they would perceive you as anti-social. people, always trying to find something wrong with what you do. cant we just get along? can't you just leave things as it is? if you dont have something good to say, why dont you just shut up and let it be? i guess what i want is an utopian world, but i think this is just the way it has to be.

kasama

2005-11-16T15:35:00.000+08:00

gusto ko mag-ikot, gusto ko magsaya kaya lang walang makasama ng cnabi mo na sasama ka thats great, wala ng problema dali-daling naghanap ng lugar na pupuntahan nahinto, napaisip, di alam kung saan sa dami, di makapili, nalilito, naguguluhan pero ok lang, saan man, basta kasama ka ok lang

saan na nga ba tayo pupunta? hehehehe

friends & their relationships

2005-10-18T18:12:00.000+08:00

nag-iiba talaga kapag ang mga tao sa paligid mo ay nagkakaroon na ng relationships. di maiiwasan na ang mga dating gawi ay unti-unting mababago. mga dating kasama sa paglabas, ngayon ay wala na. dating kabiruan sa anumang oras ngayo'y nagse-seryoso na. ganun ba talaga? di ko masagot, di ko alam.

wala lang, i guess i just miss my friends, thats all.

(At Riga, SEB Unicentrs)

my apologies

2005-09-18T14:25:00.000+08:00

for some of us, saying thank you is the most natural thing. pero di ba dapat ganun din when it comes to saying sorry? bakit kaya on some occasions nahihirapan tayong i-blurt out ang word na yun. minsan dahil sa pride, minsan dahil nagi-guilty, minsan dine-delay then nakakalilmutan na, o kaya naman too focused or absent-minded di napansin kailangan na pala mag-sorry, maaari din namang di alam how to say it. as for me ... guilty on all accounts, kaya ...

... sorry di po ako nakaka-attend ng celebration regularly
... sorry if patuloy pa din akong nakakagawa ng di tama
... sorry wala pa din akong tiwala sa sarili ko
... sorry if at times there is a feeling of self-pity
... sorry nakakalimutan kong magsabi ng thank you
... sorry for abusing my health & my mind
... sorry for not being true to myself
... sorry that i am not an achiever
... sorry for not pampering you enough
... sorry if i haven't been a good daughter
... sorry if di na tayo nag-uusap at wala ng sharing tulad ng dati
... sorry di kita nabibigyan ng enough importance
... sorry kung nabibigyan kita ng maling advices
... sorry for not keeping in touch at di ako ang nag-i-initiate to talk to you
... sorry if natarayan kita
... sorry for being rude, i never meant to be a bitch
... sorry sa pagiging madalas kong war freak
... sorry if nasaktan kita, physically, emotionally and/or spiritually
... sorry if sometimes i go by the book and becomes a pain in the ass
... sorry if i am not a good company
... sorry if i made some wrong judgement
... sorry for doubting you
... sorry for blaming you
... sorry for being secretive and just keeping to myself most of the time
... sorry for the smiles never shared
... sorry for the time never granted
... sorry for making you uncomfortable
... sorry for being weak
... sorry if i may have failed you in any way
... sorry for always being undecided
... sorry if di ako nakatulong sa 'yo ever
... sorry if im a burden to you
... sorry if matigas ang ulo ko at sobrang kulit
... sorry if magulo akong kausap
... sorry for putting you in an awkward position (not sex-related ha .. bwehehehe!)
... sorry if i didnt give you a chance
... sorry for falling kahit hindi dapat
... sorry sa pagiging maikli ng patience ko
... sorry if i didn't appreciate what you did or never appreciated you
... sorry for the broken promises
... sorry for the words never spoken & emotions never expressed
... sorry for the words i shouldn't have said & things i shouldn't have done
... sorry if i gave you an idea that i dont need anybody
... sorry if you feel i didnt give you enough love
... sorry for being silly when i know you needed someone you could talk to seriously
... sorry for not being there when i should be
... sorry for not being a good listener
... sorry for not siding with you
... sorry for making you wait
... sorry for not telling you the truth about a lot of things
... sorry for not doing my best to take care of you
... sorry for trying to avoid you
... sorry for always being on guard, i dont want to hurt you and at the same time i dont want to be hurt
... sorry for not taking chances
... sorry if i may have hurt you in any way

there are so many things i have to say sorry for, kaya SORRY PO!

good karma .. thanks

2005-06-21T10:44:00.000+08:00

a lot of people think that when something goes wrong in their life, even if it is a very small mishap, it is immediately taken as bad karma. but how come when good things happen to us, we regard it as if it was nothing. you never did consider it otherwise? a good karma, maybe? a last seat on a shuttle, rain pouring immediately after you've gone inside, remaining piece of the cake you've been craving since this morning, arriving to your destination safe & sound, always having loose change, talks you your friends have been having, flowers you receive, waking up everyday able to see, being kissed, saw a perfect sunset, and many other things. if a few of these have happened to you then you must have done something good ü.

there are some episodes in oprah where they encouraged everyone to have a thank you notebook and at the end of the day you will list all the things you are thankful for. why do this you ask? in my opinion if you do this, sometime soon, read it, you'll realize how so much blessed you are. but you dont have to always carry with you a pad to write those you are grateful of. you could just tell it to someone above, he'll be glad you noticed.

so have you said thank you lately, for even as small as a smile given to you? i did ü

weekend (20050618-19) mood

2005-06-20T11:36:00.000+08:00

warning : so much non-sense. move on ...

i get easily irritated especially if it doesnt suit my plans. i dont know why (sabay kamot ng ulo). sa pagkakaalam ko malayo pa naman ako sa tinatawag na menopause. madali ako mag-snap, late na bago napipigilan, bago pa naiisip. napapa-isip nga ako minsan if i need therapy, kaya lang maliban sa mahal cguro bayad dun, others will think that something is wrong with you because it is unlikely in our culture to just see a therapist. even the word therapy makes ones eyebrow raised. sometimes i dont want to go out of my room so as not to upset anybody with my complex mood. so i usually sleep it off. speaking of sleeping, that is one of the things i like to do most. sa iba too much sleep gives them a headache, luckily i dont get headaches due to oversleeping so i do it as much as i can. wala lang just rambling. sbi ko sayo eh, walang kwenta 'to.

kelan kaya ...

2005-06-08T16:02:00.000+08:00

madami akong tanong sa sarili ko .. but thanks to a friend of mine, natanong nya ako kung ano yun mga yun.

Kelan kaya ...

... magkakaroon ng bahay na matatawag kong akin
... makakapunta sa lahat ng mga lugar na gusto kong puntahan (madami eh .. ito ang iba sa list >> Davao, Pagudpod, EL Nido, Japan, Italy, Paris, America, Australia, South America, at madami pang iba)
... makaka-own ng beachfront rest house
... matatapos ang pag-iisip ko kung sino ang pupunta sa wake ko
... di na ako magiging morbid .. hehehe
... titigil ang madami sa ibang recurring dreams ko
... makakahiligan ang pagbabasa ng newspaper
... magbabago ang project na hawak ko [ UB support for life!!! =( ] [ nagbago nga ng project pero same pa din ng client .. hehehe .. dapat yata ang ni-request ko ay bagong client .. bwahahahaha! ]
... mawawala ang pollution
... lilinis ang politics at talagang masasabing para sa tao talaga
... titino ang government officials na may topak.
... susunod ang mga tao sa laws laid for them
... matututong mag-drive outside subdivision
... makakasakay sa hot air balloon, yacht, cruise liner, jet, super bike
... maibibigay sa parents ko ang lahat ng luho na gusto kong maibigay sa kanila
... makakaranas ng love na masasabi mong ito na yun
... tatangkad pa .. hahaha
... papayat din =P
... makakakita ng perfect sunset
... makakapagsalita ng ibang language maliban sa filipino at english (Italian, french, japanese)
... makakatanggap ng bouquet of flowers (di yung gumamela at santan ha .. yung yellow roses or tulips naman =D) [ someone gave me 2 yellow roses & lots of tulips in a flower arrangment with other flowers surrounding it, sept 13 .. they are pretty nice ]
... magkakaroon ng lakas ng loob para mag-try ng ibang opportunities
... magtitiwala sa mga kakayahan na ipinagkaloob ni God (kung meron man .. kitams! swak ang item na ito sa topic!)
... makikita ng tao na di mataray, suplada or intimidating
... magiging fun and outgoing
... mao-overcome ang fear of public speaking
... magiging contented sa ano man ang meron ngayon
... may makikinig sa akin at papansin
... matatatak sa isipin na we should look past physical appearance and will not make judgement based on it
... mare-reach ang lahat ng goals ko for myself
... magiging unselfish lahat ng people
... magkakaroon ng peace sa mundo
... malalaman ang totoong purpose bakit ako andito
... magkakaroon ng fulfillment sa buhay
... mawawalan ng mga questions sa isip (malamang kapag di na gumagana)

... as of now wala na akong ibang maisip .. babalikan ko ito =) ...

ako? oc?

2005-06-06T12:07:00.000+08:00

Sabi nila OC daw ako. In my opinion, I am not. My things are not always in order. Take my room, parang one big unorganized walk-in closet =P. Sabi nga ng mom ko gubat yun .. hehehe. Yun ba ang OC? Btw, for those who are confused already, OC means Obsessive Compulsive, sobrang gusto laging malinis at maayos ang mga gamit at paligid, gets irritated if something is not in its rightful place, may certain way on doing things that he/she follows, and some even have lists on everything ü.

I'll list why they probably say I am.

1. don’t like crooked forks.
2. kapag binubuksan ko ang chips at ibang food packaging, sa taas lagi, holding two sides of the center and pulling them away from each other. I don’t tear it thru the tear here label or cut with a pair of scissors diagonally, but if i do, dapat with smooth edges or at least clean walang piece of plastic protruding.
3. i tend to close objects that needs to be closed, like microwave, toaster, drawer, cabinet, & some other things.
4. keeping wall-hanged things, straightened & centered.
5. clothes na naka-hang are placed in my cabinet according to category (office attire, semi-office-casual attire, casual), style (long sleeves, polo, blouses, no sleeves, tshirts, pants, skirts) & color.
6. when setting things, e.g. on the table, sometimes needs to be accurate, with even spaces in between.
7. wear clothes in a round-robin manner (but sometimes naman i skip din, depende sa mood ko =P)

Yan lang maisip ko ngayon eh at ang aware ako. Lahat ng mga yan is to make my life easier, nice looking, and to prevent accidents (item#3).

Tatanungin ko kayo ulit, yun ba ang OC? Okay, okay .. fine! A little bit, sobrang mild OC na nga! You happy now? ... =P

unselfishness

2005-06-03T00:07:00.000+08:00

this story is nice ..
-----------
Little things, big differences
By Elizabeth Grisham
I have a strange habit of finding pennies wherever I go. I had been keeping them in a jar, just admiring my luck, but one day I was standing behind someone in a checkout line, and they came up short. I had just found a penny, just what they needed, so I gave it to them. It wasn't mine to begin with, so it only felt right to pay it forward. Now, rather than thinking of the pennies as signs of my luck, I think of them as signs of opportunities to help people. [ http://www.actsofkindness.org/inspiration/stories/index.asp ]
---------
I remember, a friend once told me, if all people are unselfish, this world would be a better place. I agree with him 100% =)

first entry of worrywart

2005-05-31T16:12:00.000+08:00

una nag-iisip ako if i would join those probably millions of people who have already started their blog. thinking, would an addition of one matter to the network traffic we have presently? or is it important to be a makata to start one? or kailangan ba madami kang kakilala na may blog din para di naman sad ang page mo? those kind of stuff. but then naisip ko din, the hell with it .. minsan na nga lang ako mag-conform sa nakakarami eh, pagbigyan na =D